Harvey's Heart
by Oh Moneypenny
Summary: Harvey gets drunk to forget his want for Mike, he phones Donna for sympathy but ends up being told home truths and has to do something about it.


Hi! Okay, so although I didn't get many views on my first fanfiction, the few I did get were absolutely lovely. Thanks. I thought I'd give it another go anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own Suits at all, nor do I have a witty disclaimer message.

Harvey was drunk. And as a man that could hold his liquor, this barely ever happened. But Harvey had been sitting in his office when he realised that what he wanted most in the world he could never have. So instead, he had plenty of what he could have in copious amounts: Scotch.

He had found his way to a bar where he was unlikely to bump into a client or Jessica or Louis. He knew meeting Louis when drunk would be bad. Imagine waking up in the same bed as Louis Litt. With a shudder at the thought, Harvey had slid onto the barstool, unbuttoning his suit jacket and ordering a scotch. He told the waiter to hold the ice. After all, he didn't need water diluting his liquid happiness.

The amber liquid burned down his throat again and again but apparently nothing could placate the need for the blue eyed boy that Harvey wanted so badly. He snorted quietly at the fact that he could have almost any guy or girl in the city yet the one he wanted seemed oblivious to his charms. A muscle in Harvey's jaw jumped as he thought of the girl Mike was currently dating: Jenny. So blonde, so soft, so… so not what Mike needed in his life right now.

Another glass, another thought of Mike. They seemed to be running parallel to each other. And the more Harvey drank, the dirtier his thoughts of Mike seemed to get every single time he knocked back a glass. His throat tightened as he realised he'd went from thinking of innocent dinner dates to what noises Mike would make in bed. A possessive smile ran across Harvey's face as he realised he'd be the one forcing Mike to be making the noises in his fantasies. But in reality it was Jenny taking all the credit for Mike's pretty face and innocent eyes.

Harvey pulled out his phone and scrolled down his contacts. "Mike" stood there illuminated on the screen but he locked the phone quickly. He couldn't, wouldn't, phone Mike now. Harvey was very aware of his light headedness and burning throat, he was also aware of how words that were heavy on his tongue to say might just spill into Mike's ears if he called right now. Harvey didn't throw the L word around, but he was scared he might if he called tonight. Instead the scrolled up to Donna in his contact list and hit the call button without thinking.

It rang once.

"Donnaaaaa. My absolutely lovely, vivacious Donna!"

"You're drunk, Harvey."

"Very observant of you, I was getting acquainted with some top dollar Scotch tonight."

Donna sighed softly. "Harvey…" she proceeded tentatively, "what's wrong? You don't normally let yourself get like this." She paused, hoping she wouldn't have to say the next line, hoping he would bluster over her. "What are you trying to forget? What have you done?"

"Me?" Harvey called incredulously down the phone, "Me? I've done nothing. Nothing. Because I can't. Do you know what I want to do though?"

"I can tell I'm not going to like it already, Harvey."

"You'll love it, I promise. Right now, I want to… I want to…" Harvey trailed off to a lost end as he stared into his empty class on the bar. "It's all that bitch, Jenny," he said quietly into the phone, "I wish she didn't exist, and you know what Donna? I really wish he was mine."

Donna bit her lip as she heard Harvey's tone turn vulnerable. This was definitely a rarity but right now he seemed to be rocketing his way through every emotion he claimed not to have inside him. And right at that moment, he turned petulant.

"He's _my_ puppy after all! Donna, make it better, you always do. Can't you make her cry and leave forever? You've managed the first part of that with Louis anyway…"

"Harvey, listen to me right now. If you want Mike then that isn't my work. I've done a lot for you in the seven years we've been working together but I can't make him fall in love with you. Do you even know if he likes men at all? Because Rachel and Jenny certainly aren't the masculine types. Sober up and talk to him because I'm not doing it for you."

The phone cut off.

The phone clattered to the bar top as Harvey let out a groan, covering his face with both hands. He felt so tired. It seemed in his conversation with Donna he had lost the buzz of intoxication, his throat burning from the liquor but the cloudy fuzz in his brain had fizzled out and all that was left was Mike at the forefront of his thoughts.

Harvey got up from the bar, putting a vague amount of money on the bar before leaving, his legs feeling like lead. When he turned from the doors, he saw a couple: a tall, slim man and a woman with blonde hair. He knew it wasn't them, Mike wasn't as tall as that and he was paler than the man in Harvey's sights but jealousy raised it's head deep in Harvey's stomach as he realised that this could easily have been them, walking home from a late dinner and going back to Mike's to…

Anger blinded Harvey as his mind went to that dark place. He thought about Jenny kissing Mike and how her kisses would burn his lips. The thought of her hands on him made Harvey squeeze his eyes shut like he was trying to forget a nightmare. At least with that idea, he could wake up tomorrow and pretend it had never happened.

Harvey woke and groaned immediately, throwing a hand over his eyes and inwardly cursing his huge windows. He rolled over, pressing his face into a pillow and caught himself imagining that he was nuzzling into Mike's neck to wake him up. So much for a fresh start this morning. So much for forgetting how much he wanted Mike to want, love and need him in return.

When Harvey strode into the office a little later than normal, stifling a yawn with one hand, Donna's eyes pierced him. She then turned to look at her computer screen without handing him either file or coffee or even throwing a smile his way.

"Harvey!"

He knew it was Mike immediately. The voice always struck a chord somewhere deep inside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Donna's head snap up as a blue eyed, out of breath boy stumbled out of the elevator behind Harvey.

"What is it, pup?" The pet name was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, he knew the smirk that would be on Donna's lips right now and he saw playful happiness in Mike's eyes.

"Nothing, you just know I'm leaving early today, right?" As Harvey opened his mouth to ask why, Mike gabbled over him, "Yeah, I'm meeting Jenny's mother tonight so I need to go home and change – make a good impression and all." He grinned at Harvey, excitement and nerves floating in his eyes.

"Uh, Mike, I don't think you can. You know our case is up tomorrow, we'll be working late. Don't even argue. I'm your boss, remember?" Ugly power danced on Harvey's tongue but he was inwardly cheering his victory over Jenny. "Look, I'm sorry, puppy, but it needs to be done. We'll order some pizzas or something to take the edge off, okay?" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Donna smother something between a gasp and a laugh.

"Well, I guess that's okay." Mike rolled his eyes, "don't have much choice anyway, do I?" Harvey shook his head, forcing himself not to lean in and kiss the disappointment out of Mike's face. "By the way," Mike continued, "we need cheese_ in_ the crust for you to fully make it up to me."

"Done." Harvey nodded and turned on his heel, waiting until he was past Donna to let a full smile crack across his face as he settled into his office chair.

Harvey laid a record on the record player and rolled up his sleeves as Mike ordered the pizzas. It seemed that Mike really was making Harvey make up for what he had done as when the pizzas arrived there were four huge pizzas, side orders of garlic bread, coleslaw, milkshakes, bottles of coke and two massive tubs of ice cream.

"Damn Harvey, I think this might be better than meeting Jenny's mom. I know it's work and all but…" Mike trailed off and leaned back on the sofa, smiling and slipping off his tie. He opened his tub of ice cream and started digging. "Really, espresso and dark chocolate ice cream was the best choice. Sucks for you, stuck with the raspberry." He grinned and raised his spoon, pointing it at Harvey on every other word. "Really, I was looking forward to meeting Jenny's mom, since we've been meaning to do it for so long but Jenny's just been a bit off lately… I don't know."

Harvey smiled and collapsed on the sofa next to Mike. He had just recited his planned defence for court the next day in between eating pizza and felt like his head was about to explode, listening to Mike go on about Jenny wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear however it seemed like even Mike didn't see her as perfect.

This of course cheered Harvey up so he turned to Mike, "Oh, hey you have coffee ice cream, why didn't you offer me some…" Harvey leaned in and stole Mike's heavily laden spoon away from his mouth as he spoke, slipping it into his mouth, never breaking eye contact with Mike. Mike's mouth opened a little as his spoon was lifted from his hand. "Mature, Harvey, really mature." Mike sulked as he opened the raspberry ice cream instead, handing Harvey the tub of coffee and dark chocolate ice cream.

The two lawyers sat in silence for a few minutes, eating ice cream and watching the New York sky line twinkle against the black sky. Harvey noticed that his thigh was brushing against Mike's. He leaned his head back and smiled broadly, thinking that tonight was so much better than last night.

"Oh, see what happens when you daydream? Your ice cream gets stolen." Mike was grinning as he suddenly had both tubs of ice cream in his hands. Harvey raised an eyebrow and dipped his spoon into the coffee ice cream, "Yeah, but now you can't eat it since both hands are full… and you're a little too competitive to put either down. I know losing to me would hurt so much." Harvey cast his eyes down to the spoon. "Or I could do this," he raised the spoon and gently pressed it against Mike's lips, his mouth fell open as Harvey fed him.

Both men realised with a jerk how intimate the scene was as they sat close together, one of Harvey's hands on Mike's jaw, the other holding the spoon to his lips. Neither of them cast their eyes away. Harvey bit into his lower lip, letting his lids fall a little as he savoured the moment. He had wanted this for so long and Mike wasn't exactly pulling away. Harvey considered leaning in and seeing if Mike mirrored him, he also considered placing his other hand on Mike somewhere, or even just owning up and telling Mike how he felt but…

Mike's phone buzzed on the table and pulled them both out of the moment, back to the real world where they were in Harvey Specter's office and meant to be coming up with a sure fire solution for tomorrow instead of sitting completely wrapped up in each other's eyes and teasing each other over ice cream.

Harvey cast his eyes over to Mike's phone, the name that was emblazoned on the screen: _Jenny_. Mike picked up and started talking into the phone, but his voice sounded a little tight and Harvey noticed a soft pink blush spread over Mike's cheeks. Harvey caught Mike saying, "Look yeah, I'll be right there, promise." And with that Harvey had to give a rigid nod and then Mike was out the door, being led back to the blonde bitch who would never love him like he could.

The next day was a Saturday but at 6am Harvey awoke to a banging on his door. Harvey slid out of bed, opting to not bother with a shirt and answering the door just in pyjama pants that hung a little loose on his hips. He opened the door to a flustered looking Mike.

"I… look, Harvey… I… I'm sorry I'm so early but I didn't know where else to go," Mike seemed to be addressing Harvey's toned chest rather than his eyes.

Harvey couldn't help but smile at Mike's messy hair and wide eyes although concern unfolded inside of him. "What's wrong? Trouble in paradise with you and Jenny or something?" He inwardly scolded himself for wanting too much. "Come in, don't just stand there." He turned and walked into the kitchen, turning on the coffee machine and grabbing two mugs from the cupboard.

"Uh, well, yeah actually. Although I don't really rate a relationship with her as paradise level at all." Mike gave a sad smile and he pulled of his jacket, slinging it over one of Harvey's kitchen chairs. His soft grey t-shirt rode up a few inches and Harvey shamelessly devoured the patch of pale skin with hungry eyes before turning back to the coffee machine.

"Really? I thought you guys were, you know… the perfectly hard working trying to make it work in Manhattan couple. The ones that work long hours, have hellish bosses and still have time to have a heavenly sex life?" Harvey grinned, raising an eyebrow at Mike, making it clear this sarcasm would go on if he didn't start talking soon.

"Stop it, Harvey. She said she didn't like how closely we work. How sometimes she didn't like to think of what we do on late nights in the office together."

"Oh." Harvey nodded and stirred the two coffees, handing one to Mike.

"Oh? Oh, is that all you have to say. Oh, I'm sorry your girlfriend – sorry, ex-girlfriend – thinks I fuck you on the desk. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that along with losing everyone else you've ever trusted now you've lost Jenny too. Oh, I'm sorry you're lonely and single again. Oh, I'm sorry that you have no chance of getting her back and-"

Harvey cut him off by slamming a cupboard door too hard. "You know what, Mike, I hate her. She's fucked you in more ways than one." And then the words were spilling out of his mouth, "Why her? Why not me? Why does she get to be the one that loves you, huh? I thought I didn't care, thought I just wanted you because I'm a possessive bastard and I hate sharing but no – she's put hurt in your eyes far too many times and I don't know how to fix it since you won't let me. You actually want her back? Why, seriously, why? You could have so much better. I know I might not be better but god, I'd try. Mike, I really would, I'd do anything I could to make your life whatever you wanted it to be but you… you'll never let me."

Harvey turned away, turning to look out of the ceiling-to-floor glass window and ran a hand through his hair.

A quiet voice was the next thing he heard. "You want me?"

He couldn't stop himself from talking again, the words had been sitting there for far too long now. "Yes Mike, I want you. You say want like I only want you as a toy or whatever but really I want to love you. I've put my ass on the line for you so many times, not for my fucking reputation but because I never want to see you hurt."

But it was hurt that showed in Harvey's eyes when he finished talking. Mike put down his coffee cup and ran a hand over his face. Here was Harvey Specter, without the title of best corporate lawyer in New York and without the tailored suit armour. Here was Harvey in baggy pyjama pants and sunlight on his chest, here was Harvey with no gel in his hair and a heart on show that had obviously been guarding this secret for far too long.

Mike rubbed the back of his neck and realised he'd have to say something soon. "Harvey, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I was scared!" Mike had never seen this side of Harvey until now, with emotion and love falling from his lips and eyes like teardrops. "Because I was scared you would never love me back and you'd leave."

They stood in silence for a moment and Harvey crossed his arms defensively over his chest after letting everything out, he had to stop saying everything right now. Mike waited patiently until Harvey met his eyes, and only then did Mike smile gently.

"Come here."

"No."

"Always the petulant child, Harvey." The mood was lightening already.

"You're the puppy, Mike, you come here."

"No."

Harvey rolled his eyes but uncrossed his arms, letting them fall to his sides as he took as step closer to Mike. "Come on, pup, and meet me in the middle here."

Mike stepped in. There were only inches between Harvey's bare chest and Mike's t-shirt covered chest. Mike smiled and shrugged one shoulder. "Wow, so Harvey Specter wants me…"

Harvey couldn't make a joke right now if his life depended on it, his hands came up to curve around Mike's face, his thumbs stroking the underside of Mike's jaw gently. "Oh, you have no idea how much he wants you."

Harvey leaned in and brushed his lips ever so lightly against Mike's. It was almost too much for both of them as they pressed their bodies against each other, Harvey's hands moving down over Mike's shoulders and chest to wrap firmly around his waist. "And this Mike Ross guy, does he want me?"

Mike blushed and leaned his forehead against Harvey's. "Oh yeah, he's pretty into you. Just didn't realise it."

Harvey laughed quietly and stroked his fingertips up under the hem of Mike's t-shirt and pressed his lips firmly against Mike's. He felt Mike's hands climbing up his bare skin, making him shudder, and feeling fingertips crawl up his neck before hands plunged firmly into his hair. Harvey pressed Mike's lips apart, a groan escaping him as he had waited so long, and he pushed his tongue into Mike's mouth. Ever possessive, his hands cupped Mike's slim hips as he felt Mike sigh and lean against him. Harvey pulled back first, feeling himself stir with lust for Mike – he was almost surprised it had taken this long.

"You know, it's not even seven am yet…"

"Ugh, really?" Mike was already leaning in for more kisses, his arms still draped lazily over Harvey's shoulders.

"Mhm, and generally Saturday's deserve a long lie…"

"Oh, right, want me to go?" Mike started to disentangle himself from Harvey.

"No, you're all mine now." Harvey smiled and grazed his teeth along Mike's lower lip and tugging him into the bedroom where Mike realised that it would be extremely easy to return Harvey's love.


End file.
